Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Plastic surgeons now offer to redesign fingerprints

Plastic Surgery is now the fastest-growing medical field. Beauty is the main, but not the only public demand.

Rich criminals are used to undergo facial plastic surgery to change their faces. Doctors are also busy with celebrity-imitation faces, skin-color change, hair transplant, tatoo removals, piercings, split-tongues and a few other aggressive surgeries.

Now, the False News Agency invented the Redesigned Fingerprint Surgery. Is is very simple: the surgeon cuts slices of skin in your fingertips, mixes them around, and grafts them back in the fingers. The result is a natural-looking, scrambled fingerprint that police cannot track back to your criminal records.

It is also possible to erase or modify digital marks with laser.

Notorious gangster John Dillinger had his fingerprints removed with acid, but they grew back. That will not happen now. The new method comes with a 0% failure rate (so far) and a money-back guarranty.





Contrary to the expectations, law-evading patient candidates are minority. Many fashion-oriented youngsters demand hearts, initials and logos carved in their fingers by laser. The surgeon works looking at a mirror, because the stamp-like carvings must be negative for prints to be positive.

Some web marketers demanded their website addresses in their fingers, but that is not currently possible. Fingers have not enough room for anything longer than auch.com.

Instead, feet can be used. If your shoe size is 9, you can easily fit False-News.com. If you play in the NBA and wear 11s, you can fit Geocities.com/Something.

Just imagine the beach in summer, covered by WWW marks. Some marketers event pretend that is a cheap form of viral marketing, and demand surgery plus paid beach-side vacations.

We can provide ideas that are not necessarily better, but certainly cheaper and not surgical. Ask for a free Viral Marketing proposal.

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